Oi NZ, you better behave!

Tonight I decided to peruse the AM stations in Melbourne to see what I could find. While cruising through (searching for something in English, which was cool!) I heard a discussion about Wellington so I sat on that station for a bit.

Now apparently (and this may not be big news to anyone else, but I’m not generally up with these kinds of things) the heart of Phar Lap is taking a visit to the Wellington Racing Club (I think I have this right). Why this is happening is beyond me but according to these guys on the radio, NZers aren’t to be trusted with it.

There is a couple of people travelling with this heart in order to make sure it doesn’t go out clubbing or something. But that’s not enough! These guys reckon someone form NZ might try and steal Phar Laps heart. ‘Cause, right, we care that much!

This has happened coincidentaly with the announcement by the Australian Government that they’re sending another 100 troops to Afghanistan. So these guys on the radio reckon the government’s got their priorities all wrong (no disagreement there) and the govt should be sending troops to mind Phar Laps heart.


I understand that there’s a bit of the ol’ cultural ownership battle going on there about where Phar Lap was from but NZers aren’t that stupid, are they?

I dunno. It’s all a bit weird the perceptions of NZ from over here. Some people seen to think we’re a whole different species. But most people are pretty cool when you say you’re from Aotearoa. In fact, most people in Melbourne are from Aotearoa but that’s another story.

This conversation (I’m having with myself) reminds me of a post I’ve been meaning to write for a while where I do my best ever Letterman impersonation and play…

The Top 10 Weirdest Things About Australia! (in my limited experience)

10. Ravens and Bats!

Well, they’re not weird, more spooky. And bats are damn cool too!

9. 24 hour drive in florists

I can’t explain this one. Can you imagine the market that’s out there for people at 3am exclaiming ‘oh god, I need fresh cut flowers, where shall I get them from?’. I think not, but apprently there must be. It’s not too far from my house so I promise I’ll let you know if it ever comes in handy.

8. Multiple streets with the same name in the same area

This is more stupid than weird. It’s gotten me twice now that I’ve gone to a street to meet someone and they actually meant the street with that name in an adjoining suburb, grr. My favourite example is Brunswick Road which is in Brunswick which is just down the road from Brunswick Street in Fitzroy. That’s just wrong.

And don’t even get me started on the street numbering system.

7. Skinny milk

I always thought trim milk sounded odd but skinny milk? You feel like quite a dick delivering someone’s coffee and saying ‘here’s your skinny latte’. I find it amusing to imagine a cup of coffee

6. Eating native animals

It’s going to take me a while to get used to this one. Seeing native animals on a restaurant menu is just plain weird. I know that there’s heaps of these animals around, and they’re even pests in some areas. But it’s just so damn strange!

5. The Prime Minister doesn’t reckon the place is racist.


4. Their parliamentary structure

Well, it’s not exactly weird, more impossible to understand. I pride myself on being rather geeky about matters constitutional and it’s taken me ages to get my head around how it all works. And I had to use wikipedia to finally get it. Everyone I asked had no clue. That is somewhat concerning.

3. Moreporks

They have them here. But they’re called Moepokes. He he. Say it outloud, funny word!

2. Hook Turns

I think they’re unique to Melbourne too. I first saw it on this commuter map thing I got when I first arrived here. I read the instructions and didn’t really get it. It seems to work alright but in a pretty beautifully unconventional way.

And the number one weirdest thing about Australia is…

They haven’t colonised us yet!

It’s strange. The topic has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had with people, so it’s not like the idea isn’t incomprehensible to people here. And they do have the military capability to do it. And we’ve got so much stuff that they don’t, like mountains, and water.

Guess they might just like us. Awww…


3 responses to “Oi NZ, you better behave!

  1. 9. Must be because Aussie men offend their partners on a 24 hour basis and need flowers to make things up.

    We also have (8) in NZ. The suburban sprawl that is Papamoa has numerous streets that are part of an incomplete grid system, so you’ll have Wifeswapper Drive in one subdivision, then some fields and it’ll then restart some way away. (Digression: I just looked at a map to see if there were any streets like that in AKL that were severed when the Northwestern was built – there aren’t – but there is a shortcut from Kingsland to Grey Lynn shops that I didn’t know existed!)

  2. Damn straight we eat our native animals – Roo is some good shit and eco friendly.

    As for NZ not being colonised. I understand that we discussions of Australia’s federation began the prospect of NZ being a state of Australia was discussed – albeit briefly. Then again, WA only became a state in the very final throws of these discussions and remains dubiously described in our constitution.

  3. We got moreporks on Waiheke Island and a damn fine sound in the night they make. They also fly without their wings making noise, which is quite eerie when they fly overhead, when enjoying a night out on the deck

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